Two Less Orphans In The World

Today is a very special day for me. Today, our Guatemalan born daughters received their California birth certificates and were officially granted their American given names. Our adoptions are official.

There are two less orphans in the world today. They are now Americans. Americans with a chance to dream a dream that they would of never been able to fulfill. They have more than the true basics of life of food, shelter, and clothing. They have a mom, dad and four brothers that love them to death. They have a family. They will also have the chance, the opportunity, to an education. They will go to a University one day. They will strive to be the best women that they can be. They will achieve greatness.

My hope for them is that they will become activists themselves. I hope they will go back to Guatemala and make a difference in the beautiful country that they came from. I hope that they will make their own mark in giving back to the world. They have been given a true gift from their birth mothers. Because of them, we, as parents, have been given our beautiful daughters. This is the true gift. My life is fuller since these two little girls came into my life. I know they will teach me things only daughters can teach their mothers.

I hope that I can teach them the world.

Peace My Friends,

rocky signature

45 Responses to “Two Less Orphans In The World”

  1. kim.kim May 4, 2007 at 8:39 am #

    You represent everything I abhor in adoption.

  2. Possum May 4, 2007 at 10:05 am #

    WOW – that’s a whole lot of pressure to put on little adoptees.
    Please remember that they may not be just like you – because they’re not from the same gene pool.
    And please don’t call them ungrateful if they don’t do all that YOU want.
    Adoption is meant to be all about the child – not all about what you want.
    JMHO.

  3. SarahUK May 4, 2007 at 2:16 pm #

    Why not put $30,000 into improving their community and country instead of using it to pay they adoption agency? These children already have a family. Even if their mothers are dead (which they probably aren’t), they all have aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins, they are just too poor to raise them. If you truly wanted to fight for them, if you truly cared about their well-being, you would help their country instead of taking these Guatemalan children to call your own, to call Americans. They are not Americans. They are Guatemalan. How very arrogant of you to think being American is the best thing for them. How very arrogant of you to think that these children would automatically prefer America than the country of their birth. And, how very, very arrogant of you to change their names. These children already had names.

    If you want to fight for others, you need to stop taking for yourself.

  4. SarahUK May 4, 2007 at 2:20 pm #

    BTW, I *am* one of these children that someone plucked out of her country of birth and now I have lost all of my rights and privileges of that country. All because I was adopted.

  5. Rocky ~ HeadMutha May 4, 2007 at 2:34 pm #

    kim.kim. ~ I would like to understand exactly what it is that I represent that you abhor.

    Respectfully,
    Rocky

  6. kim.kim May 4, 2007 at 2:51 pm #

    1. they are not orphans.
    2. you thank their mothers for a gift, it’s not a gift, it’s a horrible thing they had to do they probably felt they had no choice.
    3. you want to wipe out who they are and change their names and pretend they are Americans.
    4. you write as though you are the magic Mama who saves them and will be ever so fabulous.
    5. your blog is called Mothers fighting for others but I don’t see you fighting for others just taking children from poor people.
    6. They have families, you are pretending they don’t have families.
    7. You talk like you are rescuing them and big noting yourself.
    8. You are deciding their lives for them, they might not want to achieve greatness, I suspect you will expect them to be grateful for them being adopted by you.
    9. You don’t acknowledge any loss, only gain, gain, gain.
    10. I give you credit for not saying that God made all this happen for you although I suspect it crossed your mind.

  7. kim.kim May 4, 2007 at 3:34 pm #

    11. Signing it as Head Mother??? Using the term Mutha to be extra cool, that’s also annoying. Adopted children have two mothers, why are you head mother? How come you’re not heart mutha?

    12. It annoys me because people that write things like you do bring out the worst in me.

    13. I am going to finish washing the dishes now.

  8. JWT May 4, 2007 at 3:48 pm #

    Kim.Kim,

    It’s pretty obvious that you haven’t read anything else on this blog. I love it when people have agendas and commit to them. (Insert applause here.) But you really should take a look around before you make comments that have no basis in fact. I’d suggest you go read the rest of this site.

    I’m just going to comment on a few of your statements.

    First, the legal definition of “orphan” is “someone bereft through death or disappearance of, abandonment or desertion by, or separation or loss from, both parents.” They are orphans.

    Second, we have decided, not because “god” told us to, but because we truly do want to help, that we are probably not going to adopt any more children. Instead, we are focusing our efforts as a family toward making the WORLD a better place. Rocky has chosen to work through Child’s Right to raise $35,000 to help in Guatemala. You can read about that here: http://mothersfightingforothers.wordpress.com/2007/04/20/a-childs-right/

    I can assure you it won’t be the only thing.

    Third, they ARE Americans now. Citizenship is a legal status.

    Fourth, They ARE better off here. Have you been to Guatemala recently?

    Fifth, yes, we do have hopes for them that include being great, giving back, making a difference. That’s what PARENTS do, we hope for good things for our children. I’m scratching my head trying to figure out how you would rather have us hope… for mediocrity?

    Sixth, we are not pretending they don’t have OTHER families. We have all of their paperwork saved for them and will assist them in finding their birth Mothers when the time is right… if they wish to do that. They will always know where they came from and the stories of their birth Mothers. How did you conclude otherwise?

    Lastly, Rocky is a magic mama. She is an amazing mother. She IS indeed so fabulous. I get to see it first hand every day. And she has every right to be happy about these two little girls, as I am.

    This is a great discussion and I appreciate your perspective on the International adoption issue. Rocky is very open about what she’s doing. The purpose is to expose issues and encourage and inspire others to help, to make a difference. Why don’t you join in? Come back and tell us, what are YOU doing to make a difference.

    Sincerely,

    The father – of two beautiful Guatemalan girls who I am proud to call my daughters.

    (Now, perhaps you’d like to go and let me know your position on child slavery and human trafficking. You can do so here: http://stopchildslavery.com) ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Julie Ferenzi May 4, 2007 at 3:54 pm #

    First, I’d like to say that read and re-read Head Mutha’s post several times before I decided to respond. Over and over, and then once more…

    I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t miss something that could have have been mistaken as anything other than a mother who had hopes and dreams for her children. I didn’t see it.

    On the day that each of my 4 children were born I wished the same things for each of them. I want them to be the best people that they are capable of being. With my help, love, and encouragement I know that it will be possible.

    We all have expectations for our children. As far as calling it pressure… well, ALL parents are capable of going to extremes. I don’t think it’s a mindset reserved for parents of adopted children.

    I am part of a family blended by adoption. I was reunited with my birth sister 5 years ago. My mother is our birth mother.

    I know how much my mother loved her to have given her up. My mom wouldn’t have made the best mom for my sister in that situation … at that time in history.

    There are characteristics and traits that she shares with both her biological family and her adoptive family. Neither of which can be denied.

    We are a blended family, and our story has a happy ending and new beginning. I am very sorry to see that you are very angry and upset about your own experiences, but that is not the case for all instances of adoption, whether domestic or international.

    It does seem hurtful to project your anger on to someone else in such a way though, perhaps if you had come to this post with an intention of educating instead of attacking, your message would have had a greater impact.

  10. Tracy May 4, 2007 at 4:14 pm #

    To begin…I am sorry that you are so angry. Angry by the wonderful thing that Rocky has done for these 2 beautiful girls. I feel that instead of attacking Rocky you should be explaining and educating us on why it is that you are so angry.

    I am a mother of 5 children. All my own. I have never adopted but am considering it to be a huge possibility sometime in the future. I want the same thing for my children that any mother wants for her own. For them to have the best possible future without any form of poverty, violence, slavery, abuse or any other horrible means that children throughout the WHOLE WORLD experience. I am one of those children. I have experienced abuse, violence, rape and poverty. Because of my experiences I have the means to help other children and help my own children. To give them unconditional love and encouragement to know that they can be anything and everything is possible.

    I am sure that once these 2 beautiful girls grow up they will be greatful for all that their family has done for them. Their biological family as well as their new family that has made them American citizens. The new family that is giving them so many opportunities that are not available in their home country. The opportunity to do all that we as Americans are so lucky and priviledge to be able to do. To live free. To have freedom of choice. To be able to choose our own lives and how we wish to live them.

    Rocky has given that to these 2 girls and I do believe that God sent Rocky to them. Rocky is now on a mission to help. A mission for all others to open their eyes and see. See what is going on in other countries and educating us on what we can do to help. She has also introduced us to 2 beautiful girls. Twp happy and healthy girls. So please use your anger to help and not attack. Do not attack the people who are helping instead make an impact. Use your own experiences to help others understand.

    You can become a mother fighting for others.

  11. Roxy May 4, 2007 at 4:18 pm #

    Rocky ~
    Head Mutha! ~ I’ll say it loud and proud!
    Congratulations on your special day with your kids! It is truly worthy of celebration.
    As for the rest of the junk – water off a duck’s back, hon!
    Everything I have ever seen of you – you are one to be looked up to and appreciated for your love and selflessness. Don’t let ’em get ya down!

    ~
    Roxy

  12. Amanda May 4, 2007 at 4:42 pm #

    I can’t believe what I have read here, it is truly amazing to me that you 2 women can take what Rocky has done and turn it into a negative. Please share with us what you have done in your lives to benefit someone elses or is it that you sit back and spread negativity? Rocky I can sy first hand has been an inspiration to a lot of women, she inspired me to get off my rump and DO SOMETHING!!! Rocky keep doing what you are doing and keep being you ~ you ROCK HeadMutha!!!!!

    Amanda

  13. sun67day1 May 4, 2007 at 4:44 pm #

    you are a wonderful human being and a teriffic mother,congrats for you and your families special day!!! Do not let these comments get you down they are ignorant and clearly from people who have led unhappy lives. You keep doing what you do and I know all the mothers &friends from CafeMom stand behind you

  14. LYNDELOU / Lynn May 4, 2007 at 4:59 pm #

    How dare you womem / men come on here and try , and your only trying to make HeadMutha out to be the bad person. She want’s to make a difference in these children’s live’s..What have any one of you done that could warrent your disrespect to HeadMutha??? Hummmm !!!! Im assuming nothing , so you bash her for wanting to love these children..Do Not judge her before you get to know what she is all about.. Shame on you for not wanting these little girl’s to be in a loving , caring , safe home with her…When you have done as much as she has then and only then should you voice your nasty opionon’s to her in a respectful way. Don’t be jealous – Do something about your anger. Help these children as she is..

    Don’t let them knock you down HeadMutha~ Your Awesome to have so much love in your heart to be able to share with more children…We love you for this

    Lynn / aka Lyndelou

  15. juliets May 4, 2007 at 4:59 pm #

    I don’t understand why people feel the need to berate about something so wonderful. I am sorry that some experiences with adoption did not go well, but think of the good adoption does for children. Those who in a desolate country, with no hope for a future. Those who are raped, and beaten on a daily basis. Those in poverty. Granting a child such a wonderful, and bright future should not be considered a bad thing! All parents want the best for their children, adopted or not. Selfish is hardly the word to use to describe Rocky. Do you consider Angelina Jolie and Madonna and all the other people out there who adopt a child from another country to be selfish for trying to give a child a better life? Please.
    Congrats Rocky on this beautful and wonderful event. Just ignore these people and remember that your friends at Cafemom are here for you and stand behind you 110%.

  16. TracyLynn May 4, 2007 at 5:04 pm #

    Rocky….you know that I am so happy for your family….that you have been BLESSED with 2 more children! How they came to you doesn’t matter one bit…THAT they have come to you is what counts!

    How ANYONE could so hateful to someone with a true and kind heart is beyond me!

    Every DAY I think about you, Rocky…what a difference you make in the world for children across the globe. The other night I watched “Blood Diamonds” and thought about you….how you make such a difference in lives of children. How most of us in this country are blessed…those of us writing here and reading this are at any rate blessed….our children do not go to bed starving (not just hungry….but STARVING), our children are not FORCED to work for pennies a day to help feed their families–working in HORRIBLE conditions and FEAR, our children do not go to bed afraid of militia coming in to their homes and murdering and raping their families and them, our children do not go to bed at night in fear of a bullet coming thru their windows and walls, our children are not afraid to go outside and play for fear of bullets, we are not fearful that a drug dealer will approcah our children as they walk 2 houses down…and many more things we are and our children are blessed with. Families in other countries (3rd World Countries) and inner city communities that are pretty darn close to 3rd World Countries with their poverty and voilence live with things most of us could NEVER imagine. And the parents of those children, many of them, CHOOSE to give their children a life different than the one they would have where they were born….they GIVE them to other families to raise them, to love them and to give them oppurtunities that they would not have had otherwise. They GIVE their dreams TO their children!

    I WISH I had the financial means to do more than I can and do…I WISH I could adopt a child….I do what I can but I do wish I could do MORE.

    You, Rocky…and others like you…are an INSPIRATION to me!!! And I am THRILLED for your family!!!!

  17. Mommy2MrPants May 4, 2007 at 5:10 pm #

    CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!! I am so very proud to know you!! You inspire me every day with your amazing abilities, I REALLY admire the greatness you hold. I know you will give your daughters all the love and direction they will need to grow into wonderful women and lead the people around them to accomplish great things. I absolutely LOVE the post your hubby made, you go boy!! I am not one for drama and I believe to each their own so I am not going to make any comments in that regard. But I want you to know that you are amazing, no matter what you are doing you are making an impact and you do it 200%!! You are DOING what everybody else only talks about doing, you have made me a stronger and better person by just knowing you. You are doing the right thing girl!!

  18. headmutha May 4, 2007 at 5:17 pm #

    Possum,
    I respect your right to be angry at your birthmother and adoptive mother. I would never take that away from you. You have every right to feel the way you do. You have had positive and negative experiences with your adoption process as a child and have brought that into adulthood. You have every right to feel the way you do.
    My concern is that you have brought that anger towards me. I have done nothing to you. I am a mother. A mother to six amazing children. My HOPES, my WANTS for ALL of them to be great are equal. I will be equally disappointed and elated in all of their life decisions.
    I believe adoption is not just about the child. It about everybody involved. Their mothers, their families that were left behind due to extreme poverty, myself and their new family here, and all the people that will be lucky enough to be a part of their lives as they grow into beautiful women.
    Possum, you don’t know me. You have no idea who I am and the reasons why I do the things I do. I hope to learn from you as an adoptee what NOT to do. My daughters are my world. Nothing will ever change that.
    Respectfully,
    Rocky

  19. MistyCheyenne May 4, 2007 at 5:26 pm #

    Rocky,
    If everyone in the world offered their homes and their hearts to more orphans, instead of offering their complaints about those who do, we would be living in a much happier world. I am so happy for you and your two new additions! Congratulations!
    Misty

  20. hendrixandmama May 4, 2007 at 5:33 pm #

    Congrats on your families joy and a landmark day in the lives of your two girls! How lucky you all are to have them enrich your lives and vice versa!! As always, i applaud you Rocky for your lovely diplomadic way with words. You are such a tough lady, yet handle opposition with such grace! I send my very best to your family. I also hope that these individuals can re-evaluated their anger concerning this issue and perhaps even redirected it into more useful outlets! You are inspirational and i know you dont need anyone to tell you that you ROCK!!

  21. Peanut's Mummy May 4, 2007 at 6:02 pm #

    Amen to all you have done Rocky! Those 2 little girls are truly blessed. Congratulations! I think (even though I dont know you very well) you are a wonderful person who is trying to make a difference in the world. If only there were more mothers out there like you. You certainly have earned the name Head Mutha. Keep up your inspirational work and good luck with those wonderful girls. To those of you who think she is wrong you need to do some research before you start attacking people!

  22. mrspeoples May 4, 2007 at 6:15 pm #

    Congrats to you Rocky. I know this is truly a wonderful day for your beautiful family. Thanks for all you do to make a difference and all the inspiration you instill in us to do the same.

  23. kim.kim May 4, 2007 at 6:22 pm #

    You people can think what you like. A piece of paper doesn’t change someone’s nationality. I as a migrant know that, I have a document that says I am Dutch but I will always be Australian.

    I’d love to stay and give this more energy but we are going to the movies tonight. We are going to see Pan Labyrinth I think.

    Good for you wanting to learn from Possum HM, that’s wonderful.

    Ladies,
    if you don’t mind,

    I will leave you to it.

  24. headmutha May 4, 2007 at 6:23 pm #

    Kim.Kim.~
    I will respond to each of your points.

    1. You are right, they are not orphans anymore. That is why I titled the post”Two Less Orphans in the World.”
    2. My daughters are a gift. I had four sons before they came into my life. Just because I am elated about them being my daughters doesn’t negate the pain that their birthmothers went through. I am not naive. I wrote about this very subject last year. http://www.muthahood.com/muthahoodaintforsissies/2006/05/a_bitter_sweet_.html
    3. Just to let you know, I kept their names. They are their middle names. I wanted to respect who and where they came from. I changed their first names because that is what we decided as a family.
    4. I am sorry you don’t like my writing style. I’m just a mom who wants the best for her children.
    5. You have obviously not read any of the other posts I have written. I fight everyday for those who cannot fight for themselves. I didn’t take my daughters. I adopted them.
    6. You are right, they do have a family, ours. And when they want to go back to Guatemala to find their family there, I will be holding their hands along the way. I will support all their decisions in this matter.
    7. Their birthmothers are the ones that rescued them. They are the ones that made the decision to give them a better life. I am just the lucky one who gets to be the one to raise them.
    8. They will be the ones to decide their own lives. If they don’t want to achieve greatness, I have failed as a mother on many levels. I expect ALL my children to be grateful for the live I have given them. My husband and I work hard to be the involved and supporting parents that we are. I would assume ALL mothers want to feel appreciated for their work as a mother. Especially if you take great pride in it.
    9. I can’t speak of loss on my end. What I have gained is my own experience. That still does not negate the loss of her birthmother.
    10. You have no idea what my spiritual beliefs are. Here is a little peek.
    http://www.muthahood.com/muthahoodaintforsissies/2007/04/if_in_fact_god_.html
    11. HeadMutha refers to my other blog. http://www.muthahood.com
    It has nothing to do with adoption. And yes, I did use the word Mutha because I did like the play on the word Mother.
    12. I apologize if you don’t enjoy my writing.
    13. I hate doing the dishes! I gotta fold laundry. A Mother’s work is never done.

  25. Julia May 4, 2007 at 6:29 pm #

    GOD BLESS YOU ~ Headmutha!!!! Those children are BLESSED to have you in their lives ~~~ and don’t you let anyone make you feel bad for loving those kids and helping them !
    Love, Julia

  26. LSMILES May 4, 2007 at 6:57 pm #

    Headmutha your wonderful and who ever says anything about you, better make sure their hands are clean too! Good Luck with your new babies : )

    Lacey

  27. Momtimestwo May 4, 2007 at 7:09 pm #

    Rocky— you know you are a wonderful mother and you are an inspiration to lots of women (myself included) I wish that everyone would realize what it is that you are doing here—— TRYING TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!!! If people would just contribute on their own instead of criticizing you then this world WOULD be a much better place!!!! I am proud to know you and be able to call you my friend. Much love and respect to the HEADMUTHA— You more than exceed the meaning behind the title!!!!!

    Sharon

  28. Amy79 May 4, 2007 at 8:02 pm #

    Congrats Rocky!!!! Those precious children of yours are sooo very lucky to have such a wonderful mommy like you! You’re Awesome Rocky! Keep making a difference! You’re an inspiration to everyone who is lucky enough to know you!

  29. LadyPoet May 4, 2007 at 8:11 pm #

    I applaud you for taking on two children whose culture is much different than ours, you have ALOT of work ahead of you. I am sure those little girls are blessed to be with you. I think it takes ALOT of courage to give children a new home. I gave my son up for adoption, it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. I miss him everyday. I look forward to the day I can get the chance to meet him and hear about his life. For a mother to give up a child it is very hard, for someone else to take on another’s child is also hard. I have been on both ends of the spectrum. I respect both Headmutha and their birthmother for making these decisions. Anyone who has something negative to say about it must not be happy with their own life and be jealous. I got the privilege of taking guardianship of my granddaughter who is the joy of our family. We were lucky we got to keep her in our family, my daughter still gets to see her, my other kids get to see their niece, my ex-hubby still gets to see his granddaughter. I am not a wealthy person, far from it but I do see the need to take care of a problem if you can. Honestly, if my SO and I could adopt children we would, unfortunately, my SO has a past full of drinking and getting in trouble with the law. He turned over a new leaf when my granddaughter came into his life. I also don’t have a home big enough or money coming in. Sadly, I would love to be able to help more children. I see the homeless with their children everyday. I do what I can, and Headmutha so are you. Congrats enjoy your beautiful daughters. I am sure they are gonna love having 4 big brothers ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck! Lots of love from side of the country. I am proud to see people like you in the world! Peace ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. Susan Whitman May 4, 2007 at 8:57 pm #

    In 2001, I read an article in the June issue of Marie Clare magazine, in fact, I still have this magazine. It was about the abandonment of little girls in China. I will never forget that moment when I opened my magazine to a picture of a dead baby girl laying in the gutter of a busy street. At that time, I was pregnant with my third child. I threw that magazine across the room and fell to my knees sobbing. Ever since that day, I had a dream of adopting a little girl from China. But that is all it was, a dream until I meet my new neighbor Rocky (in 2004) who quickly became a close friend.

    I still remember the day Rocky came to us and told us that they were adopting a little girl from Guatemala. I was so excited for her and her family. I had the pleasure of following their adoption journey first hand. During their journey, their adoption agency asked them if they would consider adopting another little girl who had just been dropped off at the orphanage by her birth mother. One look at the picture of this little girl and they opened their hearts and their home to her. In 2005 when Rocky brought home her first daughter, I shared with her my dream of adopting from China. She was the one who gave me that push that I needed to make it happen.

    Our obstacle was the cost of adoption. She taught me that I did not have to be rich to make it happen. Her advice to me was, do what you need to do. Take out a 2nd on your home, take out a personal loan, heck put it on a credit card. If you are going to be in debt, isn’t this a great reason to be in debt. She was right, you can not put a dollar amount on the joy our daughter has given us.

    In Oct of 06, we came home from China with our then 18 month old daughter. Even though our daughter’s basic needs where met, she was very malnourished, could barely sit up on her own, could not walk nor talk. She had spent a lot of time just laying down in her crib. Our daughter weighed 13 lbs at 18 months old. I do not understand how anyone could say that adoption is an ugly thing. Our daughter used to go to bed hungry. We did not rip her out of her country nor take her away from her poor family. Our daughter was abandoned at birth, China makes an effort in locating birth families before placing these children up for adoption. I have a copy or her finding ad from the local newspaper asking for family to come forward. We spent 2 weeks in China learning about this beautiful country. The people we met in China were wonderful to us. They themselves, the locals, kept saying what a lucky little girl she was. We will never take away her heritage and I know she will be proud to be an American citizen one day, as all of my children are because they are very well aware of the circumstances around the world.

    For those of us who do not know how to fix the problems of the world, adoption is saving 1 child from hunger and poverty. Giving that child the american dream, an education, the ability to do whatever they want to do. This is not limited to adopted children. This is a dream for all our children for they are the future of this world. Just think about it, if every child in the world was given an education and an opportunity, poverty would be a thing of the past. I know how Rocky feels when she sees or hears of another child dying around the world due to hunger or a disease we have medication for, because I feel the same way. The difference is that SHE is doing something about it. I cry for these children, she DOES something for those children. She thinks beyond her own busy household. She knows that when she is tucking her kids in at night reading a story to them, there are children going to bed hungry and alone or walking miles to avoid being kidnapped and raped. Rocky has done so many wonderful things to help, she does more than just write a check to UNICEF. She does not share all the the wonderful things she has done, she tells us HOW we can make a difference. She does not do this for bragging rights nor to gloat about how great she is. She does not make her friends feel like they are less than her because we are not out there like she is. I know this because I live next door to her and she has become a very close friend. She does this for the children who do not have a voice. She hears their cries loud and clear. Rocky is a true humanitarian and for anyone to question or doubt her sincerity clearly does not know Rocky. There should be more of her in the world.

  31. mommamoxie May 4, 2007 at 9:55 pm #

    When you are brave and strong and know what YOU are all about…sometimes people are intimidated by that amount of self conviction. I highly doubt this person KIMKIM had any idea the hornet’s nest she poked by messing with our headmutha. And nope Rocky, she does not know you.

    How are the girls?? YOU are tantamount to Sainthood in my eyes and heart.

    Anytime you open yourself up to the public, there are bound to be negative comments thrown your way. Matters not what you do or do not do. It is a reflection of the person making the remarks.

    And now I want YOU to forget about it okay?? When the heart is full of compassion and a desire to understand and affect things and people, like your heart IS, it hurts deeply when we are faced with something/someone we cannot understand. Her experiences are not yours. Let that be clear in your heart and mind.

    Much respect and praise to my Headmutha.

  32. TLW May 4, 2007 at 10:32 pm #

    ROAR! ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. Stacey Kuhner May 5, 2007 at 12:04 am #

    Rocky,
    I am so happy for you as your family was expanded by these 2 little girls. I am so sorry for you having to endure the harsh words put out there from 2 women who obviously have their own issues they need to work out. I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world. I am glad to have cyber-met you and feel honored to be able to call you a friend. You are a great inspiration! Keep your chin up and realize you are doing something great, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks!
    -Stacey a.k.a irksmom

  34. Leemarie May 5, 2007 at 3:30 am #

    Oh Rocky,
    I can’t tell you how happy I am for you and for those two girls.. and how excited I feel for the life you can and will provide for them and the opportunities that will cross their paths now that they are in your life and you and your husband and your boys are in theirs.
    You have been an inspiration since the first day I began to read your blogs and your posts on cafemom.
    You encourage me to do what I can and you help me remember that every little bit counts.
    I believe you were meant for greatness and you are fulfilling that prophecy every single day with your efforts. And I believe there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with hoping your children are happy, successful, well adjusted and continue in your footsteps.

    There may be critics.. there may be skeptics… but I truly believe you went on your mission with an open heart, and I am elated at your success.

    Ladies,
    I cannot pretend to think that life in this country is perfect. I think the Virginia Tech tragedy clearly reminded us of that. What I do believe is that this country provides great opportunities, and even better than that, civil rights. These are things that are definitely not on the grocery store shelf in other places. Let’s remember that the rest of us do not know the history of these little angels and what their life was like. I am driven to think that whatever it was before will only be better now. I say this because I know that Rocky and her family will provide love and affection to these girls, and they have a home and a family and safety and security. And there’s no way in hell that’s a bad thing.

    No matter what any of you say.

    Rocky, keep doing what you do. You are my constant inspiration.

    Leemarie (aka HevnLee75)

  35. headmutha May 5, 2007 at 4:45 am #

    Kim.Kim, Possum and Sarah UK: I hope to understand your side, your story, one day. The only way we can help each other, is to learn from each other. We are women, we are mothers, and we are daughters. We are more alike than we could imagine.

    As for the rest of you ladies: You make me smile. You make me want to continue on my journey. You all inspire me to be better and greater than I will ever imagine. Thank you.

  36. Andrea May 5, 2007 at 5:20 am #

    I want to understand the hatred that this topic creates in some people because I often wonder why people adopt internationally instead of in America. And then I think of how in this beautiful country there is a system in place to care for the children who cannot be taken care of by their families or loved ones.

    In other nations, like my own country in South America, being poor doesn’t even compare to what we consider to be poor here. Poverty, many times in the US, is section 8 rental assistance, welfare checks in the mail, food stamps for all your nutrional needs and any other program the government can come up with.

    In other nations, poverty means you don’t eat for days, maybe weeks at a time. No education, no medical attention or medicine… I could go on. This is the life these girls have been rescued from.

    It’s easy to point the finger at someone who is doing something you don’t necessarily agree with, but the point is, she’s is DOING IT! Not talking about it, not preaching only about it and passing along some 3rd party information. She has taken on the task to rescue these two beautiful little girls and give them a fair chance at life. Anyone that pays attention to international news know that Guatemala and other central American countries have been destroyed by wars in recent years. Leaving many children orphaned, hungry destitute and left to fend for themselves.

    Those of you so critical, what are you doing to help? What are you doing to save a life? What are you doing to save the world in your own little way?

    If someone is willing to open their arms, hearts and home to a helpless child, does it matter where they came from? Does it matter how far they have to travel to find a happy home? Trust me when I say this, these girls will know where their heritage lies when they grow up. You can’t hide their beautiful dark eyes, soft brown skin and full dark hair. They will know that on this day, this amazing woman (and hubby) traveled all the way from America to give them a better life.

  37. MorganLeigh May 5, 2007 at 5:44 am #

    You and your children are BLESSED! Keep your head up. You are an amazing mutha with a HUGE heart. You inspire me to do more. Reach out and help someone who I would never imagine. You make me want to spend my vacations in towns full of poverty and despair and just concentrate my entire time with those people to try to help. You make me laugh, cry, and proud all at the same time. Keep doing what you do girl. YOU are making a difference.

  38. reunionwritings May 5, 2007 at 7:36 am #

    HM you can better try now not wait for one day since you are going to have girls in your home who will need that you get it.

    You are going to inflict a closed adoption on them with the promised that maybe they can go through the emotional upheaval of reunion?

    You can read the adoptees on my links list for a start, you can ask Possum and others questions.

    Or you can just decide you don’t want to know and think your way is going to best. It’s not that we know more than you, we just have a different perspective than you.

    If what you wrote here horrifies some of us then maybe, just maybe that’s worth looking into rather than getting defensive and only listening to blind praise from regular readers.

    Let me know if you want some links of great sites and wonderful adoptees, I am more than happy to find them for you.

  39. reunionwritings May 5, 2007 at 7:37 am #

    I would like to recommend Margie who is an adoptive mother on my links list, she has adopted children from another country and is a lovely person.

    Thanks for being a bit open to us, have a good weekend.

  40. GABRIELA May 5, 2007 at 3:53 pm #

    I CANT BELIEVE HOW JEALOUS PEOPLE CAN BE. THOSE GIRLS ARE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU ROCKY AND TO THE 2 MOTHERS THAT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ADOPTION, WELL I’M SO SORRY. HEY, DID YOU KNOW HOW MANY GIRLS IN GUATEMALA DIE EVERY DAY, OR RAPED, OR ARE BATTERED? WELL, I HAVE FRIENDS FROM THERE. MY BROTHER IN LAW SOMETIMES HELPS THE FAMILIES HIDE FROM THE GUERIA,ITS A MILITARY GROUP, THAT SOME TIMES KILLS ENTIRE FAMILIES. I’M GLAD HEAD MOTHER GAVE THOSE GIRLS A FIGHTING CHANCE. I LOVE YOU ROCKY. AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

  41. headmutha May 5, 2007 at 5:35 pm #

    Kim.Kim (reunionwritings) I need you to understand you do not know me or my family. You do not know me as a woman or as a mother. My “regular readers” as you call them, are my friends. They do know me. They do know who I am and what I represent. I am assuming if I went to your site, and told you that I abhore what you represent as an adoptee, told you to stop playing a victim, that your friends would come to defend you. I would have never done that though. Because that is my character, that is who I am. I would want to understand and know who you are before making horrible accusations on their character as a woman and as a mother.

    You do not know the circumstances of my daughters adoption. You do not know their history. I do. And so will they. I will never hide the fact that they were adopted. I will never lie to them.

    You and your friends are basing all these negative, hateful feelings towards me on assumptions and your own experiences as being adoptees. You are assuming I am not aware of what my daughters will emotionally go through. You are assuming that I am not open to listening to what you have to say. You are assuming that I do not know this information to begin with. You are assuming that I have no idea what an adoptee goes through. You are assuming that I have never known an adoptee. You are assuming that I have never known someone who has had to put their child up for adoption. You are assuming.

    Instead, you read a post that I wrote. A post that celebrates two children that came out of a war torn country that does not protect its women and who suffered from horrific malnutrition. Did we save their lives? YES WE DID. But that is not why we did it. We did it because we fell in love with a picture and it was right for our family to bring in the two most amazing little girls I have ever met into our family.

    You have to understand that all my children will grow up understanding the true suffering of the world. They will see how Mommy will travel to Africa and to Guatemala over the next year to help orphans who do not have the good life that they have here in America. They will see me fighting for children’s rights. Fighting for all children to have access to an education, to clean water, to a future in their own country.

    Our eyes are wide open here. ALL my children will have an understanding that they are blessed to live in a country that will educate them for free, that women have the same rights as their male counterparts, and have the opportunity to become anything they want. And at the same time they will know, understand and live in a way to help others that can’t have this life.

    I will not treat my children different. My daughters will already have the understanding that they are lucky that their mothers loved them enough, that they loved them more than they ever imagined because they gave them up not because they accidently got pregnant, because they lived in a country that could not help them. I know this because I know their story. I know their history. So whatever THEY decide I will support. Do you know why? Because I am their mother. That’s what mothers do.

    As my colleague Julie stated, “perhaps if you had come to this post with an intention of educating instead of attacking, your message would have had a greater impact.”

  42. reunionwritings May 5, 2007 at 7:45 pm #

    “told you that I abhore what you represent as an adoptee, told you to stop playing a victim………….”

    Err, if you came to my blog and wrote that people would think you were stupid since I am neither an adoptee or a victim.

    How sad that you would choose to use such language to an adoptee though, that says a lot about you.

    If you came to my blog you wouldn’t find anything to abhor nor would you find any reason to call me a victim.

    You need to think about the way you speak to adoptees, especially if you intend on having some in your house for a while…….

    You might also want to read my comments again, you will find your response to me might be excessive. Just a suggestion mind.

    Still wishing you a good weekend…….

  43. JWT May 5, 2007 at 8:17 pm #

    Reunionwritings (Kim.Kim)…

    Really? You left out the most important word in your quote… “if.” Rocky would NEVER do what you did on this site. She also knows you’re not an adoptee. In her haste she may have mistyped. You are a birth mother. She know that. She’s read your blog. So have I.

    So, she doesn’t need to think about how she talks to adoptees, because she would never talk to adoptees the way you have spoken to the Mother of adoptees. She was using a literary device to make a point. She said, “what if.” What if. And you chose to ignore the what if part and make it into something else. So I’ll ask again. WHAT IF she had come and attacked you personally? Would you still consider this excessive? This is what blogs are supposed to be about… discussion… transparency. We don’t delete anyone’s comments.

    You came here. You said, “You represent everything I abhor in adoption.” And then detailed your hatred. And you did so based entirely on assumptions. Assumptions. You want to defend that? It’s certainly your right and we support that. But don’t expect anyone to understand what your saying when your purpose appears to be something far from education.

    I personally went to your site and so did others who frequent this site. We went there to get your perspective. Julie even left a very positive comment and her personal story of adoption. And you deleted it. Again, you have that right. But why? There wasn’t anything negative in her comment at all.

    Are YOU interested in actually helping us understand your perspective, or are you only interested in defending your personal attack?

    I, for one, hope you begin to engage in a way that helps us see your side of the story the way you intend for us to see it. Come back and attempt to share that in a way that doesn’t use personal attacks and you have a shot.

    I hope you do.

  44. reunionwritings May 5, 2007 at 8:56 pm #

    JWT you’re not a physically attractive person, I can tell by the way you write.

  45. headmutha May 5, 2007 at 9:01 pm #

    Kim.Kim, You have now taken this into an entirely different direction. You are not here to help, educate and help me, what did you tell Julie,”Get my head out of the sand? If you would like to continue this “conversation” please go to my personal site. You want to attack me, and my family? Please do it in the appropriate place. And thank you for showing me your true colors as a woman.
    http://www.muthahood.com/muthahoodaintforsissies/2007/05/and_so_it_conti.html