Why a Simple, White Envelope?

A Simple White Envelope   “It’s just a small white envelope stuck among  the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no  inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10  years or so.  

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas. –oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial  aspects of it — the overspending, the frantic running around at the last  minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma  — the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything  else.   Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties, and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike.

The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended. Shortly before Christmas, there was a  non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city  church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms  and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them.  We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat.   Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, ‘I wish just one of them could have won,’ he said.  ‘They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.’ Mike loved kids — all kids — and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball, and lacrosse.  

That’s when the idea for his present came.  That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an  assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the  inner-city church.

On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition–one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game,  another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to  the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning, and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

 As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost  its allure. The story doesn’t end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning it was joined by three more.  Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand  even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed  anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.” 

This is not my story, but one that shares what my heart wanted to so much better.  There is  tremendous need in our world and myriad ways to make a difference in someone’s life.  Whether you donate to Mothers Fighting for Others education fund for our 10 girls in Africa, to helping your local homeless shelter.  My dream is that one day every holiday will include a simple white envelope….making a difference one star fish at a time.

Happy Holidays,

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4 Responses to “Why a Simple, White Envelope?”

  1. Tarynjade December 19, 2008 at 7:36 am #

    I’m absolutely bawling my eyes out, my heart is so full right now! This story and your words resound so strongly within me, and as I *thought* I was struggling to find ways to make this Christmas special for my 2 year old, I know it can be as simple and special as this story suggests. I can’t wait to incorporate the spirit of love, compassion and giving into my son’s holiday season (and life!) as he grows! Thank you again for this post!

  2. Sarah Cooper December 19, 2008 at 12:36 pm #

    *SNIFF!* The best kind of giving!

  3. DianeAurit December 19, 2008 at 12:44 pm #

    Tarynjade…Now I am the one with tears, thank you so much for sharing. It means more to me than you will ever know to know I touched someone’s heart!

    Sarah: It is, that’s for sure!

  4. kelleyz December 24, 2008 at 8:12 pm #

    Oh Diane,
    that is such a beautiful story. What a wonderful tradition, and that it carried on through your childrens’ hearts is really really touching.

    Happy holidays to you and your family.

    Kelley Z (MFFO)

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